If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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