i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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