He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
