It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
