even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
