i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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