Grow some girl-balls and come out already
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
