My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
