apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
