You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
