his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
