dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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