Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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