whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
