I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
