they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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