I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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