I CAN MOONWALK!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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