AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
mondays should just be called national damage control day
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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