you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
