the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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