I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
