I love black thongs
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
