Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
