It's just like the Real World with babies
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
