her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
