how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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