aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize