Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
