just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize