Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
