Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
