hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
dude. I can hear the air.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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