I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?