I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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