Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize