That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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