Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
