Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
