you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
