Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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