Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
