On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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