I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
