I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize