I can tuck mytits in my pants
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
