we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize