Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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