Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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