is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
