Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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