Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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