my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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