just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
