you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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