How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize