it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize