Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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